Funny gigs to tell friends

  Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Why don't oysters share their pearls? Because they're shellfish. Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one. Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together. Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus. What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry. Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? Because he was outstanding in his field. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged. What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time. Why don't you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're so good at it. What do you call a factory that makes good products? A satisfactory. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing. Why did the bicycle

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